November 23, 2010

week one

week ten

Is she or isn’t she? I’m told the 45 degree angle from the butt to the tummy protuberance is a dead giveaway.

I, myself, am 5 ft 2 inches and 180 lbs. I have the arms, legs and double chin of Bristol. I also have a tummy protuberance. But mine is a lot lower and I still have a waist. I’d have even more if you were to corset and Spanx me in.

Go HERE to see a fabulous side by side comparison of week five and week ten in the jive outfits.

Sorry, buy if she’s rehearsing and exercising as much as she supposedly is, there is no way she could eat enough food, ANY food, to gain that much weight on her own.

A medical condition would explain it. Like…pregnancy.


Is she or isn’t she?

November 19, 2010

Bristol week one

Bristol week nine

Now I don’t know about you, but when you’ve got your arms stretched over your head like that, it’s the skinniest you ever look.

And if I had spent nine weeks doing the extensive aerobics required for these dance numbers I would have lost weight. And I’m 56.

I can’t help but thinks she’s losing, but the losing is being offset by some gaining she can’t control. The DWTS costume department is doing their best with Spanx, black, diagonals, long fringe, etc. Anything to distract and misdirect. But if she stays on a few more weeks there may be nothing they can do about it.

I always thought the reason she got back together with Levi was because she was pregnant and needed a fall-Daddy. If she is pregnant, she’ll blame Levi and that it happened during their engagement. He can deny it all he wants. They’ll just call him a liar.

How does the timing work? Pretty well, actually.

They got re-engaged Mid July, although he was spending time there before the announcement. They broke up two weeks later. She could have been 4-8 weeks pregnant when they reconciled. In fact, that may have been the reason for the reconciliation in the first place. It’s less damaging if both bastard babies have the same Father. So she could be 5-6 months pregnant right now, being bound in with industrial strength Spanx and disguised with baggy clothes and her Mother’s favorite trick: scarves. Who wears hoodie sweatshirts and scarves in L.A. when it’s above 90 degrees? The costumes on Dancing With the Stars are obviously designed to disguise, distract and slim.

I guess we’ll know if she leaves the spot light for 3-4 months after DWTS is over. She better pray she loses. Even if she can stick it out a few more weeks, I understand the winner goes on a tour. She’s not going to be able to hide if she wins.

Week ten rehearsal

Week ten performance.